The mosaic that is me

sad but true

2011-02-09T06:08:00.000-08:00

1. that you can be in love and be bored of someone
2. that you can be not in love and be bored of someone
3. that the expectation of a thing is better than thing itself
4. that the price of getting what you want, is getting what you wanted
5. that most of us end up having to settle
6. that there is 7, 8, 9 and so on but i'll stop here for now.

2011-01-31T07:34:00.000-08:00

Life is a continuum of moments, the ones that you remember with a wistful fondness or some other emotion that springs with their resurfacing, few and far between. Perhaps I should make a list of such moments, banal as some of them may be, and on rainy days like this one, flip through the pages, choose an imitation of a memory and let fact or fiction take flight. I guess if or when I am old and infirm, basking in the glow of nostalgia a new past-time shall become.

tempus

2011-01-23T05:50:00.000-08:00

give anything the appropriate amount of time and it is water under the bridge to you. with a detached bemusement you might find yourself mulling over why you even invested so much effort into feeling. hindsight is tinted with the shade of callowness. and for those whom time cannot pacify, alternatively, there is the recourse of death. desensitising isn't it?

457

2011-01-16T20:25:00.000-08:00

chance is 457 leading to a tau huay treat. times like these make you believe that fate does exists.

2011-01-15T05:27:00.000-08:00

do you ever wonder, amongst the lot of us, who will be the first to leave? there is no need for why; they go when they have to. will it be swift and terrible; shattered glass, smoke and screams? or will it be simply, asleep, then seguing into an even deeper sleep. and which lucky, long-lived who, will be alone and bereft.

much ado about nothing.

2011-01-05T09:04:00.000-08:00

at least for now, i think i'm done with the business of making new year's resolutions. the resolution of any day could work fine, if not better, with less of its cousin's inflated importance and imminent hand-wringing and moping upon failure. the time i set myself to achieve something is kind of commensurate with the angst i subject myself to, self-flagellation in its purest form, upon getting result of no result. perhaps resolutions infuse spurts of willpower in moments of temptation but simply, it boils down to telling yourself: this is what i want to do. and then do it.

where do birds suddenly disappear?

2010-04-29T06:10:00.000-07:00

Just a random thought...you know how the early mornings and as the dusk falls flocks of birds throng near the trees and the skies are laced in a swirling mesh of black silhouettes. Clearly there must be a lot of flying feathered friends around, not that I've tried ennumerating them. Yet I've only seen one bird carcass in my entire life. It wasn't a roadkill, meaning it was not squished into a two-dimensional sheet of meat, so I guess it counted. Which brings to me the question, where are all the bird carcasses that I should be seeing in the multitudes, although that would be somewhat like a scene from a horror movie. Do the birds, sensing impending death from old age, travel to some final resting place, far from the gazes of human eyes? It's almost unnerving how they seem to disappear without a trace, nary a feather left behind.

Backlog

2010-03-21T01:11:00.000-07:00

Goodness, it's been almost three months and nary a word has been written here. So I'm obliged to leave a mark before the months become years and I forget this blog ever existed. Life is good, for which I am thankful. The usual angsting over my abysmal CAP keeps my emotions in place or I would be feeling a drug induced kind of happiness almost every day. Maybe it's time to sit down and think about what I want for the future, and cement it by acting on the present. It scares me sometimes to think that I'm already halfway or perhaps 2/3s into the "possibly" last leg of my school life. Once again, I rue the passage of time, the thief of always...

2009-12-29T02:23:00.000-08:00

My fervor for blogging about every single outing I have attended has long dwindled into cinders. They are more significant, more meaningful when the intimate details of them are not dutifully and precisely recorded, much like the script of a movie. And there is a certain joy coupled with a touch of wistfulness, in recalling snatches of conversation, the many achingly brief moments of levity, that although are not as alive as before, remain humorous yet. Chronicling of the events renders the mind complacent; what need is there to remember when the happenings are safely tucked away, retrieved with a mere click of the mouse.
Thank God for all those incandescent moments of bonhomie, of good-natured (for most part) teasing and jibes, of deep soul-stirring conversations and of companionable silences and glances shared and traded. I love you all.

2009-11-28T05:08:00.000-08:00

There is an elusive quality in beautiful writing, (such a paltry word to describe it and a limitation in itself, yet it does give some notion of what I mean), that ineluctably draws the eyes to savor it once again, that pauses the reader to dwell in the sheer vastness of what has been said and not said, that insinuates itself into the recesses of the mind to remain, indelible. Man Booker Prize winners, more often than not boast of such writing I speak of above, and tend to touch on complex themes: the human condition and the rest of the ilk. It is with a twinge of jealousy as I delight in the mastery of these word weavers, prize-winning or no, who transport me into their realm, in which everything is more tangible because it did not happen, but might have.

2009-11-21T00:33:00.000-08:00

I'm not all that a determined person. Yesterday, I decided to throw caution to the winds and give up on studying. Not so much letting go of an exercise in futility (basically it means anything you don't get results for, which makes a lot of things) than a temporary banishment of the wretched books. Let the dice of fate, destiny and whatever powers that be govern our puny human lives play it out. Resigning to fate as they put it. And not for the first time, it occurred to me (not your usual blinding realisation, more of the slow, dawning kind that creeps up upon you) that this was but one of the numerous struggles I would have to face in the twisty, tiresome and best of all, uncertain path to Honours. So this act of giving up now could exact a barrage of repercussions on my studies; just when you thought the uphill struggle couldn't get any worse, a rockfall stares you in the face. 1 to Murphy's Law and 0 to you.
What can I do but to grin and bear it, I've made my bed and so must lie in it. Macbeth had the right mindset, even if it stemmed from the inappropriate source, resolute in his wrongdoings to the last. I can at least admire him for that. Doggedly do I forge on for I am in books. Stepped in so far, that, should I wade no more, returning were as tedious as go over.

Mock Trial

2009-11-04T09:54:00.001-08:00

Can't ever seem to blog punctually these days, and the delay chips away at the memories and motivation to even get it down here. Alright, Mock Trial! Guess it went pretty well despite the few hiccups (when I was totally baffled by Charmaine's questions), all the more so for her. The lecturer said Charmaine had the best Cross-Examination she had come across so far and I reveled vicariously in that compliment XD. I was relatively impressed with the air of composure and mien of steadfastness Charmaine and the defence lawyer exuded, never mind the occasional chinks under the relentless and piercing questions of the lecturer. Being a witness is incredibly fun; making up lies spontaneously and spouting untruths without any fear of censure adds to it! Perhaps I would make a good lawyer too! (Charmaine would certainly beg to differ on the implications of the two above statements)

Birthday

2009-10-26T06:43:00.000-07:00

Well wishes and the expectation of a surprise, which I staved away, rendering the surprise even more palpable. Buffet at Crystal Jade and an iPod and great company of Charmaine, Jo and Kevin Dear. Thanks everyone for the wonderful day =)

NIKE!

2009-10-26T06:34:00.000-07:00

This is a belated post and I don't usually bother with belated posts but I had so much fun I think I will make a concession this time. A swirling mass of humanity with that red t-shirt that equalises them all was what greeted the serious runners. Thanks to Nick setting the pace, and Daniel for moral support, I manage to clock an 1 hour and 10 mins =). Not bad for only 4 training sessions XD. We started off as a group initially but as fatigue and self-preservation set in, members began to drop like flies. FInishing the race made all of us so euphoric, a series of jump and candid shots were in order! Lunch at KFC and window shopping with guys, an experience I still find rather eye-opening, ended the lovely outing and prelude to my birthday.

2009-10-23T07:02:00.001-07:00

nothing like approval from the teachers to make my day. almost sad how dependent my esteem is on the validation of others.

Burn RUBBAH!

2009-10-20T09:12:00.000-07:00

Praise the Lord! Looks like third time's the charm =). I am now licensed to become or cause roadkill XD!

A little piece of heaven

2009-10-07T10:00:00.000-07:00

I must take back my misconception of Singapore being a boring place with hardly any scenery. Not that a man-made dam and a reservoir count, but I guess I need to make a concession XD. The sight at Yishun Dam as the "serious runners" strolled the stretch of it during twilight gave me a peculiar sense of peace and rightness with the world. It was quiet and the dying rays of the sun lent the place a sense of serenity. Already, the first smudges of night were beginning to grace the sky and I felt giddy and reckless, as though I could say anything and get away of it.

Norwegian Wood

2009-09-28T08:57:00.000-07:00

I like this the best of all. Most of Murakami's books have this themes of alienation, loneliness and insecurity, set in a realities where a man can converse with cats and another goes around clad in sheep-skin. Whimisical it may sound and it often is, yet there are passages in each book which give me a feeling of deja vu as I savour them. Somewhat akin to trying to remember a distant memory; an image flickers into your mind and as you grasp it, it dissolves and leaves you puzzled, uncertain if you even recalled it at all. Much like pondering an utterance without any forethought. I like how Norwegian Wood express the doubts and insecurities in myself I could not quite articulate; the struggles and thoughts of the characters, while not wholely in alignment with mine, strike a chord as there are familiar fragments I can empathise with. There lies a small measure of solace in knowing that I am not the only partaker of fatalistic thoughts, insecurities and doubts.

the human condition

2009-09-24T23:31:00.000-07:00

Loads of people, I should like to think, are nice when they're in one of their colorless moods. Yet, the true test of mettle, and the one I've probably flunked miserably, is being nice when you feel nothing more than throttling the person next to you. And before I make a blog post considering Haruki Murakami, I think I shall give him another chance. Do your worse Norwegian Wood!

Muse

2009-09-22T10:03:00.001-07:00

At the age of just before 20, I have discovered the pleasures of Rock in the form of my Muse. (It takes a fellow rock dilettante to see the pun in there) The moral of the story must be you're never too late to rock! Angsty, brassy and head-ache inducing when played at a certain number of decibels is what I revel in right now. But as the world has taught you by now, all that is good does not last, not that it helps that the human attention span is so mercifully short, and in time to come, another Muse shall find me. Maybe in the form of Chinese Opera O_o.

On a side note, I find it funny how the SEP co-ordinator says "It is alright if I advised you to stay here in NUS and pull up your CAP?" Phrasing it in such a round-about way doesn't detract from the No. I can handle the truth I think, but maybe not the embarassment. In short, it always helps to expect the worse.

2009-09-17T11:46:00.001-07:00

The price of getting what you want is getting what you wanted - Neil Gaiman

I love it when a quote can capture so aptly a situation that you're in, delineating its parameters and context for you. The Eureka Moment dawns upon you like falling rain on the oval of a face as you realise the realisation; 2 + 2 = 4 makes perfect sense as you somehow felt it always did. And you luxuriate in the communal comfort of knowing that someone out there, was, is and will be in the same predicament as you were.

2009-09-14T21:58:00.000-07:00

and because i am chasing a dream, i tell myself yes it is alright to be sellfish

2009-09-05T12:17:00.000-07:00

I'm falling into the reassuring rhythm of school, tuition, kevin, reading and fencing. There's more to it but in the way of mundane things, nothing much meriting mention. Oh, the joy of wallowing in self-imposed contentment.

2009-08-17T07:47:00.000-07:00

Why do I have admiration, tempered with a tinge of envy, those who can articulate their feelings with lucidity on an issue, any issue? For my copious vocabulary bank, do correct me if you think I have overstated my status, remains adumbrated by a quiescent mind. One that accepts things happening all around as they are until they start affecting me on a personal level. Yet what is there to express if you persist unmoved and untouched? There is not such much an abeyance of emotion rather than an absence of it. That is, mayhap the key to an open mind.

2009-08-10T10:38:00.000-07:00

The best meet-ups are when the people have not met in a long, long while. There is much to talk about, to laugh about and the silences are all at once, comfortable and companionable because they are understandable. I can safely say I had the most fun outing in a few years on Saturday night with the RJ sabre folks. It wore on till 2 in the morning and yet I didn't want it to end. Laughter was with us throughout and awkward moments, inevitable it seems, were few.

Photopost

2009-08-03T02:09:00.000-07:00

A few amateurish shots after fiddling with my new (or not so new) toy - A 4th hand D350. I need to get /f1.8 lenses

Tuition

2009-07-31T08:43:00.000-07:00

I gave my first tuition lesson today. The pay is pittance and a painful lesson in basic maths. Remember to divide the total pay by the number of hours tutored -_-. Well, we all learn something new. The student is bashful and parsimonious with words, preferring a nod rather than the verbal yes. It's probably the unfamiliarity and I hope she'll be more bubbly in time to come. Nothing really tests your understanding of a concept more than explaining it to someone who does not understand. A small part of me has always felt doubtful whenever I attempt to explain a concept. Words in themselves do not seem sufficient enough to give an illustration. How would you explain the concept of a "red coloration" to a person blind since birth? The phrase "the wind blows" means everything and nothing at the same time. I suppose words are a concise representation of an object but perhaps to really understand what an object is, one has to experience it? Now how does one experience grammar...

2009-07-27T00:28:00.000-07:00

What do you do when life trips you up and run circles around your head? Will you rail, scream, weep and rend your hair? Will you beat your fists against the one-way mirror? Or will you lie down and be still. For there is nothing else to do.

2009-07-25T10:27:00.000-07:00

As much as I feel life is stringing me along, I suppose God knows best. Time to be putting away the plans for far future and focus on the now. After all, if the now is good, the future has a higher probability of following suit.

Commencement (Of What, Really?)

2009-07-09T09:18:00.000-07:00

On the eve of an event that barely concerns me, I wonder, perhaps is it time to set some concrete goals for my university life, academic or otherwise. Much hinges upon the Art's Faculty decision to accept me and even if I do get accepted, the bitter trace of a lingering inadequacy will haunt me for a while. I shall need to see it as exchanging substandard for something better(?). Meagre and necessary self-consolation, nevertheless. And the question of for whom do I plan and achieve my goals for. Are they truly what I want? Do I want them not for just myself but because others have had them too?

an ode to the lost

2009-07-08T08:00:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes it Happens"

And sometimes it happens that you are friends and then
You are not friends,
And friendship has passed.
And whole days are lost and among them
A fountain empties itself.

And sometimes it happens that you are loved and then
You are not loved,
And love is past.
And whole days are lost and among them
A fountain empties itself into the grass.

And sometimes you want to speak to her and then
You do not want to speak,
Then the opportunity has passed.
Your dreams flare up, they suddenly vanish.

And also it happens that there is nowhere to go and then
There is somewhere to go,
Then you have bypassed.
And the years flare up and are gone,
Quicker than a minute.

So you have nothing.
You wonder if these things matter and then
As soon as you begin to wonder if these things matter
They cease to matter,
And caring is past.
And a fountain empties itself into the grass.

By Brian Patterson

2009-07-07T09:37:00.000-07:00

Vaguely, I want an SLR. Or at least Photoshop. Ho-hum.

Hanoi and China

2009-06-26T10:42:00.000-07:00

Alright, finally at 1.45am, I feel impelled to blog about my trip, before the not-so-indelible memories bleed into nothingness. The exact doings and happenings of each day escape me so all you'll see is a brief description of each place, and if you're feeling lucky, some picturesque photos.

Hanoi: A veritable warren of chaotically placed roads and shabby-looking buildings for most part. It's a wonder how the locals manage to meander their way to their respective destinations given the lack of street signs and noticeable landmarks, and I say this with the discerning eye of a tourist. A horn rends the already discordant cacophony of vrooms and brakes screeching every 5 seconds (yes, I counted). Crossing the roads verge on life and death situations as throngs of scooters whiz pass with an almost reckless abandon, a hair's breadth away from me. Vietnamese buildings mirror their people in stature, tall and narrow in general, a result of the 17m by 6m as the maximum dimensions regulation.

Ha Long Bay: Stunning as the scenery was, I was inured to its beauty after a while. The caress of the bay breeze was indeed welcome, as was the honeyed warmth of the sunlight on my skin. I always did love boat rides ;). Limestone islands, topped with a dash of viridian and jutting from the sea at irregular intervals, made a great subject for photos. And it was here the ubiquity of the television hit me in full force. Going aboard a floating fishing farm deep within the islands, I was half-surprised to see the idiot box, the only visible sign of technology in the otherwise spartan room.

That's it for now.

2009-06-01T06:51:00.000-07:00

Three years. Long enough to complete a degree. Long enough for me to realise that Chemistry is an exercise in futility, soul-destroying in the way army boys lament about. They say the process is more important than the result. A load of tosh is what I say to that maxim. All I have is wasted time and a bundle of anxiety and worries.

April was the cruelest month

2009-05-04T08:52:00.000-07:00

Can you ever have an excess of time? Amidst the frantic mugging driven by the lust for that 5.0 cap, the clock always seems to be a step ahead right till the moment you hand in the exam script. And as the last paper disappears in the iron grasp of the invigilator's hand, the days grow long as flickering shadows in the twilight. As Einstein once famously illustrated, time is relative. This post in itself has the makings of a half-hearted attempt to stave off boredom, the insidious companion that walks hand in hand with too much time and a lack of purpose. Every long holiday I encounter; they come as often as doable exam papers, I concoct a series of novel plans to while the hours away. Every long holiday I encounter, I relapse into the comforting nest of familiarity, indulging in the repetitive pattern of reading, going on the computer and chilling with friends. Maybe this time it'll be different.

Invidia

2009-04-27T05:51:00.000-07:00

I envy a lot. Be it people with better chemistry grades or people leading more exciting lives (going to places I would love to visit, say Italy). Maybe that's why my life seems slightly colorless and lacking to me at times. I suppose the adage "the grass is greener on the other side" holds more truth than I care to admit. As long as I continue the comparisons, which can be endless and needlessly painful, I don't think I'll be happy or fufilled in any of my endeavors. Perhaps its because my benchmark depends on the performance of the rest. And even when it does not, I still can't seem to attain it. That's human nature for you, I suppose. Never quite satisfied and always seeking the Better thing. Even when they know the Best thing is to be content.

2009-04-08T00:28:00.000-07:00

Life with a pinch of salt. I'm hungry and incoherent.

2009-04-05T09:39:00.000-07:00

Every so often, I stop thinking, just for a little while, florence thoughts. What are florence thoughts you may ask? Well, probably thoughts of the sane or close enough for her to function with a decent level of normality in society (those who know me really well, shush). So when un-florence thoughts like missing my stop and taking the MRT all over Singapore or being deliberately being vindictive to some poor, undeserving sod, for no real reason other then to see what happens, I shuffle them out and reluctantly they go, sometimes with more than a backward glance. Maybe the denying is exactly what makes them so delicious at times. In the reccesses of the minds, we're all nastier and brewing rebellious. And as for the really nasty people, maybe they can't seperate their mind from the world.

Deutsche

2009-03-23T09:06:00.000-07:00

Lerne ich Deutsche fuer zwei Monat und ich spreche ein bissen Deutsche. Ich finde die Verb Konjugation und der Gender Artikels verwirrend aber mag ich lerne Deutsche. Meine Deutsche Lehrerin is sehr gut und ich liebe ihre Vortrag. Der Vortrag ist verstaendlich und immer nicht langweilig.

I don't know enough German yet to phrase my feelings about it so I'll do this in English. After the first lesson, I came away feeling like a very intelligent parrot: knowing the phrases and saying them on cue but not knowing exactly what they meant. It got better with more lectures and a dint of self-studying. Now I can read some German passages and by looking at the keywords a.k.a words that appear in English too as well as cross-referencing back to the limited vocabulary I have, derive some meaning from it.Those who baulk at the complex grammar of English will probably pass learning German entirely. Different pronouns have different verb conjugations. Fair enough, English has that too. Throw in certain verbs that are conjugated irregular and you'll have a good time trying to remember the exceptions. Really, the key to learning a language seems to be memorising the exceptions rather than the rule. To add to the mix, words have genders, which entails different articles for them and yes, lots and lots of memorisation. I still can't fathom why a tree is male, its buds, female and its leaves, neutral. Unlike the lazy English way of "pluralising" something by adding an s, depending on the word, you can have a -en or an -e behind it. Just to name a few. Memorisation will be your best friend. Did I mention when the sentence structure changes from say, Akkusative to Dative, the gender articles are written differently too? All these gripes aside, I must say I really love learning German, the fact that there's no exam notwithstanding. I love how they can put individual words together to form long, daunting words that trip and twist your tongue like Hoechsgeschwindigkeitsbegrenzung (maximum speed limit) and Herzkreislaufwiederbelebung (C.P.R). I love how it sounds slightly guttural, almost like clearing phlegm from your throat. And I love how its close to English, which is a Germanic language, making it easier to pick up =P. I hope I achieve a sufficent proficiency if I get to go for exchange in Germany. There is much more self-studying to be done XD

2009-03-09T08:18:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I'm incredibly tired of trying. It would be lovely to be in stasis for a long, long while. But try I do still because you can lose everything but hope.

2009-01-04T07:57:00.000-08:00

I saw a rainbow today. The air was redolent with petrichor and I inhaled deeply. As the playful draughts rippled my shirt and tousled my already unruly hair, I thought maybe, I could fly. Amidst angry clouds wreathed in nacreous gray, a rainbow against the yawning canvas of the sky winked at me. I couldn't remember when was the last time I had seen one or what I had felt, but the sight of this one sent such a rare feeling of ebullience coursing through me, I wanted to shout to the passerbys, obvious as it was, look a rainbow in the sky! No-one else seemed to notice it and I wondered at them as they scurried on their various ways, intent as worker bees in a hive. Perhaps they thought me a dreamer; a girl precariously perched on a trellised wall, her eyes riveted on something unseen to all but her. It did not fade away as I pictured it would. It simply disappeared; like a memory untouched for too long. My eyes shut tight, and in the darkness that swam around me, I saw again, the rainbow. Twilight drew its ephemeral cloak upon the horizon while I stood up and made my way home.

2008-12-31T09:57:00.000-08:00

2008 is consigned to the history books and thrown-away calendars, while 2009, fresh and untainted and heavy with promise as all new years are, is ushered in with much fanfare. there is an absence of feeling save for a tremulous hope that things can and will be better. if hope is the fodder of fools then i am glad to be one. for though it may reside in unknown places, deep within the weeks or months, i should like to think there is a little piece for me.

NUS Fencing Challenge

2008-12-28T06:14:00.000-08:00

I'm still in a state of surprise that our hastily assembled motley crew managed to clinch a bronze. I'm even more surprised I could still fence decently despite my lamentable physique and half-baked training. But oh well, there were only 4 teams =P. Met a few familiar faces and marvelled once again, at the lightning reflexes and precise distancing, born of years of practice, the national fencers wielded. I foresee lots of work to be done if NUS Fencing Challenge is to be held next year. All the seniors are either working, graduating or simply too busy to render much help. Adversity does bring out the resourcefulness and tenaciousness in people so I guess ultimately, things will be alright. With the right combination of people, I never realised how fun lugging heavy pieces of metal and manning the Director's table would be. Joanna and Yan Jie took turns pushing us around on the cart, which while was admittedly pretty childish for our age, was still rather exciting. I can't imagine my parents or my grandparents acting like that when they were 19. Seems to me, my generation retains the youthful spark and sense of humor for a longer time =).

quiet time

2008-12-02T21:39:00.000-08:00

i am standing in the pall of a shadow i have cast. Or is the shadow mine? You already are. it's hard to see myself from here. i crave for dreams which are not mine. my words, little, are retreating further into silence. the light is close but i wonder if i step out, will my skin start to wither? Like a snowflake in the glare of the sun.

2008-11-08T05:48:00.000-08:00

Maybe I am not as good with words of comfort as I like to think I am. I wish I could share your troubles and give you motivation somehow, although you say it's something you have to deal with and you don't want to add on to my problems. I guess since what I say is probably futile and you're tired of hearing it, I will pray for His guidance.

hiatus

2008-10-23T07:56:00.000-07:00

2 weeks from now and the "A" levels commence again. It's almost surreal that something mythic in its significance has come and gone and to this date, close to a year since its passing. Eventually I suppose, I will have to sift through the dim recollections of the before, real or made-up and perhaps discover, nothing more to it than a word. This just adds to the plethora of "words" which make up my life. It hit me recently; the realisation that my blogging has disappeared into nigh oblivion despite the many interesting (at least I egoistically think they are) happenings in my life. Attempts to dissect this phenomenon have been largely futile and all I can say is that blogging just slipped out of my life or the other way round. Still, I should take a trip down memory lane now and then and bask in all those moments, good, bad and ugly, waking myself up in time to see the beauty of the now. The fantastic fringe benefit of having more brain space to memorise the Valence-Bond Molecular Orbital Theories or L' Hopital's Rule is also greatly appreciated.

2008-10-14T08:46:00.000-07:00

understanding is a precious thing and i guess it doesn't come to people often or has to be accquired from previous experiences. still, couldn't you at least pretend? ahhh...this is probably the depression speaking...

ho-hum

2008-10-01T10:00:00.000-07:00

It just got me thinking how sometimes feels like a seemingly endless chain of events to stave off boredom.

The Uni Student

2008-08-26T01:43:00.000-07:00

3 weeks into university term and I must say I'm quite glad that the workload is manageable; I have a good few hours to myself everyday even if I go for fencing XD. Haven't really made any friends, unless you count the hi and bye sort but it's always comforting to see a familiar face in tutorial. I'm thankful for the presence of my 3Q classmates, namely Ching Ting and Wei Lu, who make those potentially soporific lectures actually bearable and my darling Kevin, just for being who he is XD! And of hostel life? Would be an understatement to say that I savour every moment of it. Truly, absolute and utter freedom, coupled with a dose of common sense of course, is intoxicating like no other liquor. Responsibility also tags along as always and I've been doing a decent job of ensuring my work, done and my room, habitable :P. I'm pretty determined to make use of all the opportunites NUS can offer (internships, exchange programmes, immersion programmes) and at the same time, have fun!

2008-07-27T18:11:00.000-07:00

Class outing was much fun XD Loads of fried food, dabbled in bridge with fairly promising results (many thanks to the partner), attempted to play ping pong and caught up with a few folks here and there. More or less know where most people are headed to, namely NUS. Guess organising class gatherings or should I say, half-class gatherings will be pretty convenient in future. It's a little strange how it takes class gatherings to "make" me talk to people I usually wouldn't have spoken a word to on a normal school day. Maybe its the impending sense of urgency and the knowledge that I might not be seeing them till a few years later.
On another note, Science Orientation week camp is to begin on Wednesday and somehow I can't seem to muster much enthusiasm. Tis a far cry from my secondary school days; I was brimming with nervous excitement so much so that I had trouble falling asleep on the eve of Orientation. The jadedness, that walks hand in hand with age, hits me in the face and tries to wake the dreamer up. Or perhaps its because I'm attached and surrounded by old friends, I see less of a need to befriend others. Or it could be I'm a reincarnation of some hermit who died meditating in the mountains...Hmmm..

Road Rage....no wait?

2008-07-17T09:36:00.000-07:00

No license for me till September it seems...

Mostly, Good

2008-06-21T08:01:00.000-07:00

Come 11th July, one of those many cars you see hogging the tar arteries of Singapore could be driven by me XD. With 2 L plates stuck on by bumper, I shall endeavour to prove myself a worthy driver to sceptical testers and thereby earn the license and the right to break as many traffic rules as possible. I can hardly wait. And there's the second small issue of how to tell my restaurant employers I'm thinking of quitting soon. I've been absent for too many days to actually be a bad or inefficent worker and it niggles me that I do feel a twinge of guilt at the impending resignation, because I have developed some form of tenous attachment to the nicer staff members. I might frequent the restaurant now and then just to catch up I suppose. The stoppage of income will probably lead to an eventual budget deficit and its time to be more parsimonious or more adept at cajoling cash out of coffers.

2008-05-20T21:07:00.000-07:00

After a close to month long hiatus, it's time to revisit the blogging arena XD. Life is good. I've got a place in NUS Science; looks like I said something right during the Discretionary Admission Interview lol. So I'm looking forward of a laptop to of my own, my precious, on top of the other stuff I will be purchasing with my paltry salary. Occasional nights of board games with darling and company, together with outings to catch up with pals break the monotony of work. Since dearest Kevin has spirited away my PSP for an indefinite period of time (currently experiencing withdrawal symptoms now but this too shall pass, or not. ), I shall in the meantime, learn to appreciate the idiot box and knit woollen socks.

Imaqaa

2008-04-29T21:29:00.000-07:00

There's a hard knot of anxiety deep down that refuses to go away. Maybe I'm depressed? Not even blogging like my usual self, whatever that may be.

between

2008-04-09T22:47:00.000-07:00

it's a fine line between obligation and reciprocation. may i not cross it.

Picosecond

2008-04-06T21:09:00.000-07:00

Amazing what can happen in a week if you just let it =). Now that we've gone so fast, maybe it's time to slow down and let the coffee brew.

The joke's on you =)

2008-04-01T20:50:00.000-07:00

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS! In case you're still befuddled as to what is going on, I haven't gotten fired. Yet. Maybe it was mean to play on your sympathies but hey, it's only once a year folks XD! I really appreciate those kind phone calls and smses (now I know who to approach for sympathy lol) =). I've not felt so gleeful in a long, long while XD...

away with paper smiles

2008-03-26T21:56:00.000-07:00

A word too little, unflinching glances, fleeting, flickered and wisped away. Firm and fitting, is or was the sepulchral mask perched prettily against the crest of skin, as through the eyeholes, she peers, wondering and watchful. They become, inexorably, a pall of funereal quiet drawing them into a suffocating, gradual embrace. Accident or design, purpose or chance? Too late; the artfully frayed threads have snapped, suprising even their shocked selves. The moment has flown. Fingers, she can scarcely believe they are hers, reach to remove the grave-mask, only to trace contours of beige silk. Around, she looks, the strange turning, yet stranger still. Wearing impassively bereft visages, the flesh and blood stone angels, she knows and does not know, carry on their clockwork routine. Her plastic harlequin-smiles are traded away, for at last, a face again.

Church again

2008-03-17T00:08:00.000-07:00

Went to Eug's church, Wesley Methodist just to check it out. I think I rather like it...the sermon is preached in such a way that I can relate to and it doesn't sound overly righteous and holier-than-thou. And service in all is pretty short relative to other hours, though that's not the point. Had delicious curry chicken and bread for lunch - Eug's treat XD! We headed to Cine after to buy pressies for his friend's birthday and I also managed to get Catch-22 for someone's upcoming birthday too ;). Met Joseph later to watch Rule #1, (yet another treat XD) which had me cowering behind my very much smaller bag. Rather like an ostrich attempting to hide its head in the sand. One interesting thing I learnt: leaky pipes can apparently sound like a keening wail.

After

2008-03-09T23:34:00.000-07:00

It'll be a miracle if I get into Chemical Engineering or Chemistry with grades like these.

Jumbled Musings.

2008-03-03T07:41:00.001-08:00

Patapon and guitar are extremely fun! Friday creeps closer and I am going to start writing my will. Just tell me what you want and I'll make a note. Unless its photographs of mine, then I suggest you look somewhere else. As much as you want all of us to do well, I'm afraid that's in God's will, not mine. Alternatively, I could be self-employed so it wouldn't matter what I got for my A level results anyway. And I'll always be Employee of the Month. Alright, as Eug puts it, que cera cera. It's all set in stone or ink, rather. I detest my current job; there is nothing more infuriating then trouble-shooting a laptop, after complaining to a customer service officer that is. That's enough ranting for the day...

where did they go

2008-02-20T19:15:00.000-08:00

If I counted the minutes I spent simply not thinking (yes, it is very possible), I think (paradox?!) it would probably amount to an eigth of my entire life span. Already, my memories of primary school bleed to faded negatives..Did that really happen or did my fecund mind conjure it entirely or perhaps embellish it with gloss? I guess I need to revisit the past more and in doing so, cherish the now of the present.

from work springs forth bad poetry

2008-02-14T21:10:00.001-08:00

how strange that I should be the one to go
words wrenched from clenched
lips
in a breath
to ashes upon the tongue
puppets mock
the mute living
tracing the complexion of the heart
the terrain of the skin
memories of forgotten fire
eyes seek eyes dance eyes flutter
yet do not meet
perhaps
I would rather have it
so

Adrift

2008-02-09T08:46:00.000-08:00

Life now is curiously carefree and I have so much time on my hands, I could devote some of it to watching the plants grow and still indulge in my favourite past-times. The same reason why you see this blog entry. It's a little unsettling having absolutely no deadlines to meet (yes, I am not working...yet), but I'm going to enjoy this period to my utmost because the next time it arrives, I'll be having wrinkles on my age-worn face. Or growing mouldy in a box of wood. It's a good time to be learning new things, be they useful or not and I hope I have the motivation to brush up on my near non-existent cooking skills. I've quit my previous telemarketing job and am looking forward to my new employment at Nanyang Polytechnic next week. Telesales gives you a great feeling of acheivement and happiness, somewhat akin to downing a Bacardi Breezer in a minue flat but healthier, after you close a deal, never mind the occasional foul-mouthed faggots and fickle-minded folks. Well, here's to a good life ahead.

Shisha

2008-01-30T06:48:00.000-08:00

I tried shisha for the first time last Sunday. Nava is turning me into a bad girl XD. I think it's pretty overrated; I didn't get high or woozy even. Just felt my throat getting irritated when the smoke trickled down it after I inhaled too deeply. I don't think I'll ever try it again. We didn't managed to finish even half the pot. And it's supposed to be ten times worse than tobacco smoking health-wise. It felt pretty cool though, sitting in a dimly lit lounge, which reminded me somewhat of an opium den, watching as the strawberry flavored smoke wafted into nothingness. Well, it was an interesting experience and I do love trying out new things, be they criminally insane or potentially life threatening.

Novices again

2008-01-20T05:51:00.000-08:00

Met up with Charmaine and Joanna to watch our J1s fence in Novices Teams. Both Boys and Girls won the gold and the Boy's team bout had an especially nail-biting finish, since they beat Ngee Ann by a single point. It's time for me to get back to fencing too...

2008-01-11T08:52:00.000-08:00

As my penpal put it, I am one of the most universally disliked people on Earth. Enter the angsting. The term TGIF takes a whole new level of significance, with strong emotions attached to it, when you start working. Adieu, dear blog. My visits to you will be few and far between as I consign myself to being a workdrone, sombre, stultified and a slave to somnulence.

Work

2008-01-04T07:44:00.000-08:00

I never saw myself as one of those on the trains, the pale canvasses of their unsmiling faces etched with their private thoughts and worries as they were distributed to their respective destinations. But I am one of them, now. One of the many gears driving the robust economy of Singapore.. O_o. Alright, I overrate myself. Work leaches energy from the very marrow of my being. But a sale, and in this case two on the first day is oh-so-satisfying, and my moods take a leap to the stars.

2 Bored Girls + A Camera

2007-12-26T05:24:00.000-08:00

Since I spent my X'mas at home, I chose to spend the next day with Nava. Went to Daphne's luxurious bungalow for a post-X'mas party. The food was probably catered and her house was adorned with intricate glass trinkets such that it reminded me of a hotel. The ornate glass chandelier dangling in the middle of the spiral staircase was a touch I particularly liked. Soon after, we headed to J8 Delifrance to chill and cam-whore. Too much time + 2 girls + camera = narcissim in its full glory. I guessed we looked nice enough for someone to get the manager's handphone number ;).

Return from Cold-rea!

2007-12-25T04:55:00.000-08:00

7 days in Korea have come and gone in a blink of an eye, leaving behind wonderful memories and a craving to be jet-setting again soon. The weather was a pleasant reprieve from the blistering tropical heat of Singapore but I didn't take to well to the occasional near zero temperatures either. The tour guide was full of wit and knowledge, peppering the tedious bus journeys with his amusing snippets of experiences. Food generally consisted of barbequeued meat or steamboat. Initially I ate a lot, though as the days went on, I found myself getting a little sick of the rich flavors. The mountaneous and seaside scenery were quite breath-taking; then again, if you have lived in the concrete jungle that is S'pore for 18 years of your life, any scenery is stunning. Everland, the large amusement park we were supposed to visit, didn't thrill me as much as it would have if I was younger. Must be the onset of age...lol. Skiing was a blast and I think I fared pretty well for a beginner, considering I didn't fall down once during the multiple descents of the 50m+ slope. Ascending the slope was however, a painstaking process and I was sweating profusely in a few minutes despite the cold. Maybe I'll try snowboarding the next time round. Made several acquaintances and bought loads of delectable snacks and tidbits =P. It was a truly memorable trip and I can't wait for the upcoming trip to _______.

Fate, perhaps

2007-12-14T10:08:00.000-08:00

I'm hopelessly naive to think that waiting long enough would bring us together. It's like an experiment, the right person being at the right place at the right time, and I am and had none of these. As you said before, if its meant to be, its meant to be. And it seems, it isn't. Feelings, fickle and fragile, might still linger after everything. In any case, I hope you find happiness with her, because you deserve it, and lay to rest that selfish part of me.

Prom

2007-12-05T05:53:00.000-08:00

Would like to give a BIG thank you to Lestari for assisting with my prom makeup and sorry for rushing you needlessly. I think I almost didn't recognise myself with the olive eyeshadow, yellow gown and all=P. Strangely enough, I didn't feel extremely excited about the whole affair in the morning. Cabbed there with Joanna and Charmaine, all of us clad in pretty clothes and baubles, faces caked in make-up. Charmaine looked especially pretty, with the tiara, curls and Goth Lolita dressing. When I arrived there, familiar faces were rendered scarcely recognisable, probably due to the makeup, hairdos and exquisitely beautiful apparel. Think I looked quite nice that night =P. I hardly paid any attention to the programme, partly due to the annoying emcee-ing, and wandered the ball room taking photos. Narcisstic as it may sound, that's what Prom is about. After loads of camwhoring and a little dining in between, the event finally came to a close. For the first time, I went to Chijmes with some of my 3Q buddies and Joanna to chill out, before my dad gave CT, Joanna a lift and sent me home. Some photos are below and the rest are on facebook. Guess I'm still seeing white spots from all the camera flashes =P

Farewells

2007-11-30T05:37:00.000-08:00

Held a surprise treat for Weilu because she's going back to China soon after prom. She was really delighted to receive the card and bottle of stars that we made for her XD. I wish her all the best in her endeavours and hopefully she won't forget us.

Beginnings

2007-11-27T06:12:00.000-08:00

It's a time for new beginnings XD! Just went for driving theory not too long ago. Yes, Florence is on her way to burnin' rubber! Got back to fencing and felt like an absolute noob =(. And also, I have 2 job interviews coming up. Sure hope I manage to impress the recruitment agency folks into giving me that administration job =P. Best of all, on the 4th of December, the long awaited Prom will be here! Can't wait...

The End of All Things

2007-11-22T05:11:00.000-08:00

The A level examiner told us we've earned the license to scream after the end of the Bio MCQ paper. Yet, as the students flooded out through the doors, it wasn't yells of joy I heard, but rather the steady buzzing of the cross-checking of answers. There wasn't a dizzying surge of euphoria, just a disorientating but not wholly unfamiliar sense of emptiness and what-next as the coming days suddenly seem like a year. A year whose days are long. The story usually ends when the vile dragon is slain, the lost treasure found, the fair maiden rescued. Still, there is no conclusion here, not even deus ex machina for me. It's the anticipation of the end which renders the path, no matter how arduous, bearable. Which deceives travellers into seeing an oasis in a sea of sand, not a mirage. Anyhow, too much free time is not an unwanted thing and I shall not fall prey to Boredom. Finally, I can engage in those small pleasures that make me feel truly alive =).

Whatever

2007-11-14T07:06:00.000-08:00

It's a pretty apt name to describe the rest of this post. I've realise I don't really have an opinion on most issues. I don't mean those GP essays when you're forced to take a stand and expound your argument for the sake of that "A" grade. It's hard to write if you don't care much for and about something but since GP has come and gone, it's no longer an issue. There's a curious, almost callous detachment from events that have shaken the globe or Singapore; the brutal crushing of the riots in Myanmar, the repealing of Section 377A (at least I got that right) and others. Maybe I'm a cynic and the violence, intolerance and other vices that have plagued the globe will always be here to stay so why bother investing emotion? Or maybe, I'm just Singaporean. Yes, the government has done its job so well that eventually they will start wondering why no-one reads the Home Section anymore. I jest. But, truly it's odd. Why am I unable to muster more than a fleeting sympathy for the refugees of Darfur or probe into whether homosexuality should be condoned in Singapore? And I have a hunch that I'm not the only one guilty of this. My apathy puzzles me. Does it signify a dereliction in my mental faculties or a reduction in my capacity to show compassion for others? Perhaps its time, to delve deeper into the going-ons of the world, and in doing so, find myself again. It's time to start having an opinion, not for the sake of it, but because I truly care.

Cold Turkey

2007-11-11T09:06:00.000-08:00

You, the lingering sweetness of a courtesean's faded perfume. Such cloying fragrance, such deathly stench as I let you, as ever undecided, flood my shattered senses. We are magnets in a slow, tangled dance, bone-weary gladiators circling the ochre sand that mayhaps has always been. This path to hell grows narrow, carelessly fraught with briars and thorns, unspoken words and festered feelings. Tarry a little! An insolent rose petal, gloriously blooming and carmine, spirals from the sky, coruscating.

The List

2007-11-10T07:31:00.000-08:00

Here's a list of what I want to do after the "A''s

1. Fence
2. Learn to Cook
3. Work from Jan 2008 onwards
4. Travel
5. Read
6. Draw
7. Learn to Dance (Hip-hop)
8. Learn to Drive
9. Learn to Wakeboard
10. Get a nice, golden tan XD
11. Swim
12. Learn guitar
13. Play PC games

It's amazing how this has kept me mugging 4-5 hours a day despite tireless rants from the other voice in my head to give it a rest. Oh the power of dreams... =). Freedom is painfully close. I can smell it.

And oh 14. NEVER TOUCH A BLOODY SET OF NOTES AGAIN, EVER!

but of course, my RJ mentality or morality ensures that I won't.

18

2007-10-27T08:12:00.000-07:00

Handphone flooded with SMS-ses! I felt kinda bad I couldn't recognise who was wishing me at times though =S. And thank you so much Charmaine, Shu Yi, Ching Ting and Philana for the lovely pressies =). Rest assured I'll use them XD.

Random Thoughts

2007-10-13T05:59:00.000-07:00

It's funny how I've spent nearly two years in RJ and there will still be places I've never visited, canteen food I've never tried, people I've never spoken to. Maybe I was so focused on my routine that I didn't stop to smell the roses. I guess it's the same with people around us. We don't look too closely and see the nice, picture-perfect side of them beacuse the flaws are never too well concealed.

Void

2007-10-06T07:57:00.000-07:00

There's a strange emptiness
where nothing should be
that refuses to go away
so why should I stay?

How can nothing feel so heavy?

Resilience

2007-09-29T09:24:00.001-07:00

The end is nigh. The future is wreathed in possibilities. I hope for the best.

A Call

2007-09-26T03:17:00.000-07:00

After 3 months, a call. I wasn't as excited as I thought I would be but enough to keep glancing at my phone intermittenly for the tell-tale buzz. The connection was pretty sucky and it was surprising, considering NZ isn't Timbuktu. Talk came easy, which I suppose is because we haven't spoken for 3 months and I don't think you've changed much. But silence, comfortable and familiar, started to seep in; not just a result bad connection, I believe. Well, it was nice catching up and it's good to know you like it in NZ. Until then, Eug.

Carcassone again!

2007-08-18T07:55:00.000-07:00

Can't focus on reading Chem when I've got Carcassonne. Sorry Joseph. But you've got to admit Carcassonne is a hell lot of fun! Especially when you're pwning XD.

The 2 Excos

2007-08-10T07:58:00.000-07:00

The long wait reminded me of a Chinese wedding dinner but the food was well worth it! All the more so when you're not paying. Indulged in communal dining (away with saliva consciousness!) cus eating half a chicken can get a bit boring on the buds. Played "Cai Quan" and watched with a perverse amusement as the losers cringed and made faces upon eating a piece of fry coated with....X + Y + Z + a lot of chlli sauce. Kudos to Lorraine, who ate one so Zi Shan wouldn't have to eat another. J1s need to learn to tie knots tighter so they can escape without paying the bill =P. Joanna being the only J2 left bound to her seat was quite a hilarious sight. Pooled again for the first time in ages and somehow the joy of scoring and winning wasn't really there. Maybe I wasn't in the mood. Or maybe I've moved on to other things.

Nat Day Celebrations

2007-08-07T08:34:00.000-07:00

This will be a photo-post since I am too tired to blog. We all went craz-ee and had loads of fun!

the tree of infinite possibilities

2007-07-31T07:05:00.000-07:00

People would be a lot happier if they could just quit fantasising about the never-was. It's time to prune the tree. Or wonder till you're driven mad, what would have happened if you had...

Gone Shopping!

2007-07-30T07:04:00.000-07:00

It's torture being cooped up in the house mugging for 2-4 hours straight several days in a row (Curse you, prelims...) SO...I went shopping and cam-whoring with CT and Philana. Bought a pair of Ripples slippers and a nice silver patterned top! I'm not supposed to be spending so much really but some clothes just call to you, if you see what I mean. Took photos in Orchard library until the librarian told us to stop. Really love those gold-wired black stone earrings =P. Think we all reached consumer satisfaction levels today XD.

anomalies

2007-07-09T08:51:00.000-07:00

i like to think myself as a rational person, aware of my emotions and the cause of them, but when it comes to you, it just flies out of the window oversensitive perhaps, but you don't always tell the truth not that i expect you to - there's no obligation i don't suppose we feel the same way about each other after all loving one is already a mouthful i miss you and yet i don't am i afraid to lose your affection or my "closeness" to you either way it's still selfish isn't it holding on to golden thorns is what its like hurts to cling on but you can't bear to let go at least do try and make the effort and whoops i've fallen into the trap of expectations for the umpteenth time so its either unconditional or not at all guess what i've decided to go for

Farewells

2007-06-30T08:30:00.000-07:00

Eug gave me a phone call in the boarding area. It was short and bittersweet, with your customary "take cares" and unspoken words. I hope he'll have a good 6 months in NZ and though I'll miss him, he will come back in Dec. And what will have changed, I wonder?

Fencing Girls Outing

2007-06-29T09:47:00.000-07:00

Ree-tail THERAPY! Bought a pair of sunglasses (will find a use for it later) and went browsing Far East for 5 hours straight. Legs aching now...

Why?

2007-06-27T10:33:00.000-07:00

I feel sad and stupid. How is it I can mug hard and still screw the Math paper? It's so draining when all your effort comes to naught and your teacher probably thinks you're a super slacker.

Hmmm...

2007-06-24T09:03:00.000-07:00

The last day of the June Hols just passed 10 minutes ago...which means I have an Econs test in 8 hours time (less, really..) *GASP* Florence...why are you still online??!

J2 Farewell

2007-06-11T09:36:00.000-07:00

Had Joanna along with me for company on the train journey to Kembangan. Initially, we were rather afraid at the propsect of being late but when we arrived, we realised we (Char, Sanda, Joanna and me) were the only J2 girls to come. Not even the whole exco came =(. The guys were playing rugby so I chose to go skating alone and bladed for 10 minutes at a relatively fast pace to the BBQ pit. Why couldn't they have chosen a closer location??? Btw Darren, I still can't believe you thought the design on my rasorback was a tatoo. LOL. Met Huimin who had been waiting there for an hour and she proceeded to walk to the field to rejoin the main group. Skated back to the rest and they were play captain's ball for a bit and when they decided to go off, guess who came but Huimin. Oh life and its little ironies... When we reached the pit, we had a cam-whoring session by the beach. Unfortunately most of the photos are way too unglam to merit posting =(. Have not yet perfected the art of doing jump shots. Waited for the food to be prepared and skated to the 7-11 to help the J1s get the drinks over to the BBQ pit. The food was ready not long after, and had a feast of chicken wings, sting ray, sausages over humourous conversation, courtesy of Darren and Jingxun. Tried to get some people to go skating but since they dilly-dallied, by the time we reached there, there was an overnight charge. Darren didn't bring his blades cus his mum sunned them and the wheels cracked O_O. Skated back to tell the rest to get ready for Darren's suprise birthday celebration and Jun Hao and Jin Han provided a rather demonstration on how the act should be perfomed. A youtube moment but my camera was too far away. I led Darren to a coconut tree (no, not Bollywood movie) and shyly, attempted to delude him into thinking I had a major crush on him. I ran out of steam pretty fast and tried to prolong my speech with ums and pregnant pauses, relying on the signal for them to start singing the birthday song several times. In the end, I gave up and yelled at them to hurry up, thereby blowing the surprise. We both looked back and with amused horror, saw someone holding a large piece of cardboard aflame (Reub couldn't light the candle so...-_-). Sang him the Happy Birthday song and presented him his UBER-cute porcupine CD holder present. He was very appreciative of our efforts. The J2s trouped over to a patch of grass where the J1s wrote the words "THANK YOU J2! " I was really touched by the effort put in. We made our wishes before clearing up the candles and then began a caking and tickling mess. I caked Yan Loong, who didn't even realise until I told him (My face smells sweet?!) Darren caked me and I threw a ketupat at him but missed. Reuben caked Joanna and she ran after him, dropping all the collected candles in the process. Yuanzi, Zhenggang and virtually everyone else played poke-the-angry-ogre with Melissa. Tickling sends her flying up in the air, shrieking and arms flailing, Extremely hilarious how she does elicits the same reaction again and again. People were starting to go off in dribs and drabs and Joanna, Char and me shared a cab home.

Silver

2007-06-10T08:37:00.001-07:00

My fencing has gone to the dogs...And Nat Indiv's is a mere week away. This is truly what it means to be screwed. Thanks to Liesel and Joanna for being such great fencing team-mates, not blaming me even when I lost the lead and fencing well enough for us to clinch silver =). PRC is too formidable for Joanna and me, sadly. Somehow, I would rather have a word of praise from my coach, than a piece of silverware.

My Juniors!

2007-06-09T08:53:00.000-07:00

Went to Clementi Sports Hall to support my juniors in their first ever team competition! Both teams lost by a close margin :( but it was a good experience anyhow and I'm certain they will be inspired to strive harder, now that they know a medal is within grasp. Watched some of the other sabre team bouts too. Always wise to seek out the weak points of your opponent =P, better still, without their knowledge. Met up with Audrey, who was the anchorwoman of her team. She got a cut on the hand and is gonna be out of action for a while :S. Hope you're feeling alright now. Took some pictures of my juniors and thanks for coming to support us that day =)! (Yes, I know I'm shorter than them...)

vindictiveness

2007-06-08T21:09:00.000-07:00

how can it feel so good by wanting to be bad? there's a dark part within us that craves to be heard. when we are slighted, the righteous indignation that fails to be fufilled festers into a curiously comfortable malevolence, biding and bitter. till then, i am surrounded with anticipation of words unsaid, each one crafted for hurt.

Catching up

2007-06-04T08:47:00.000-07:00

Met GGY, my primary school table-mate, at IMM for dinner and well, just to catch up. It's almost unthinkable that 5 years have flown by; I can still fondly remember some of those days in Nan Hua with pristine clarity. Truly, tempus fugit. I came late thanks to the infrequent IMM shuttle service but GGY was really nice about it. He hasn't changed very much since primary school; the same eccentric, artistic and random tech whiz. Walked around a bit and went to DAISO, a shop whch sold almost everything for a measly two bucks for a good reason...they're all Made in China despite the Japan branding. Lol. Was tempted to buy some stuff but no point buying things for the sake of doing so. Headed to Kopitiam after a long search and over dinner, he showed me his photos of his class's Taiwan CIP trip and his Kota Kinabalu expedition. The photographs he took were breathtakingly beautiful, the kind you see in National Geographic Magazines. Maybe I'll post them up here with his permission. Tempted to get an SLR now but it costs a bomb! Showed me some of the other quirky things on his notebook and we left for Rotiboy to get bread. Went to Diso once more cus he wanted to get a part for his bike before we parted ways. I took 188 to Lot 1 and cashing in on the GSS, bought a pair of DMK sandals. Yay!

black humor

2007-06-01T19:58:00.001-07:00

in the doldrums

Nava's Belated Bday Celebration.

2007-05-26T08:26:00.000-07:00

We went to one of those Middle Eastern Restaurants along Arab Street to have Nava's Post Birthday celebration. Tucked into Mushroom Fish (that's really what its called), cheesecake and some Egyptian dessert; it was truly heaven on a plate. I don't think my tastebuds have ever been so fully engaged in my life. Lingered in the restaurant for a while to watch the Arab music videos playing. Nowhere as risque as their Western counterparts but no less titillating in my opinion :P. Headed to a nearby halal bakery so Nadiah could buy bread for her family. The bread looked so tempting but I decided to control my still ravenous appetite for further eating. We cabbed to Little India and met Lestari, before walking to some Indian-Chinese restaurant for more glorious food! Fried rice, chicken suka, Thai style spicy tofu, seafood hokkien mee...yay! Thoroughly stuffed after our gastronomic exploits, we trained to Vivo because Lestari was still a Vivo virgin and wanted to get to know the place more intimately. So began a long and tiring and ultimately fruitless search for Nava's Oreo cheesecake. But we did see performers from Mexico and Italy I think touring the mall. Saw the group off at the MRT and did some window-shopping, and finally going home alone.