Imaqaa

There's a hard knot of anxiety deep down that refuses to go away. Maybe I'm depressed? Not even blogging like my usual self, whatever that may be.

between

it's a fine line between obligation and reciprocation. may i not cross it.

Picosecond

Amazing what can happen in a week if you just let it =). Now that we've gone so fast, maybe it's time to slow down and let the coffee brew.

The joke's on you =)

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS! In case you're still befuddled as to what is going on, I haven't gotten fired. Yet. Maybe it was mean to play on your sympathies but hey, it's only once a year folks XD! I really appreciate those kind phone calls and smses (now I know who to approach for sympathy lol) =). I've not felt so gleeful in a long, long while XD...

away with paper smiles

A word too little, unflinching glances, fleeting, flickered and wisped away. Firm and fitting, is or was the sepulchral mask perched prettily against the crest of skin, as through the eyeholes, she peers, wondering and watchful. They become, inexorably, a pall of funereal quiet drawing them into a suffocating, gradual embrace. Accident or design, purpose or chance? Too late; the artfully frayed threads have snapped, suprising even their shocked selves. The moment has flown. Fingers, she can scarcely believe they are hers, reach to remove the grave-mask, only to trace contours of beige silk. Around, she looks, the strange turning, yet stranger still. Wearing impassively bereft visages, the flesh and blood stone angels, she knows and does not know, carry on their clockwork routine. Her plastic harlequin-smiles are traded away, for at last, a face again.

Church again

Went to Eug's church, Wesley Methodist just to check it out. I think I rather like it...the sermon is preached in such a way that I can relate to and it doesn't sound overly righteous and holier-than-thou. And service in all is pretty short relative to other hours, though that's not the point. Had delicious curry chicken and bread for lunch - Eug's treat XD! We headed to Cine after to buy pressies for his friend's birthday and I also managed to get Catch-22 for someone's upcoming birthday too ;). Met Joseph later to watch Rule #1, (yet another treat XD) which had me cowering behind my very much smaller bag. Rather like an ostrich attempting to hide its head in the sand. One interesting thing I learnt: leaky pipes can apparently sound like a keening wail.

After

It'll be a miracle if I get into Chemical Engineering or Chemistry with grades like these.

Jumbled Musings.

Patapon and guitar are extremely fun! Friday creeps closer and I am going to start writing my will. Just tell me what you want and I'll make a note. Unless its photographs of mine, then I suggest you look somewhere else. As much as you want all of us to do well, I'm afraid that's in God's will, not mine. Alternatively, I could be self-employed so it wouldn't matter what I got for my A level results anyway. And I'll always be Employee of the Month. Alright, as Eug puts it, que cera cera. It's all set in stone or ink, rather. I detest my current job; there is nothing more infuriating then trouble-shooting a laptop, after complaining to a customer service officer that is. That's enough ranting for the day...

where did they go

If I counted the minutes I spent simply not thinking (yes, it is very possible), I think (paradox?!) it would probably amount to an eigth of my entire life span. Already, my memories of primary school bleed to faded negatives..Did that really happen or did my fecund mind conjure it entirely or perhaps embellish it with gloss? I guess I need to revisit the past more and in doing so, cherish the now of the present.

from work springs forth bad poetry

how strange that I should be the one to go
words wrenched from clenched
lips
in a breath
to ashes upon the tongue
puppets mock
the mute living
tracing the complexion of the heart
the terrain of the skin
memories of forgotten fire
eyes seek eyes dance eyes flutter
yet do not meet
perhaps
I would rather have it
so

Adrift

Life now is curiously carefree and I have so much time on my hands, I could devote some of it to watching the plants grow and still indulge in my favourite past-times. The same reason why you see this blog entry. It's a little unsettling having absolutely no deadlines to meet (yes, I am not working...yet), but I'm going to enjoy this period to my utmost because the next time it arrives, I'll be having wrinkles on my age-worn face. Or growing mouldy in a box of wood. It's a good time to be learning new things, be they useful or not and I hope I have the motivation to brush up on my near non-existent cooking skills. I've quit my previous telemarketing job and am looking forward to my new employment at Nanyang Polytechnic next week. Telesales gives you a great feeling of acheivement and happiness, somewhat akin to downing a Bacardi Breezer in a minue flat but healthier, after you close a deal, never mind the occasional foul-mouthed faggots and fickle-minded folks. Well, here's to a good life ahead.

Shisha

I tried shisha for the first time last Sunday. Nava is turning me into a bad girl XD. I think it's pretty overrated; I didn't get high or woozy even. Just felt my throat getting irritated when the smoke trickled down it after I inhaled too deeply. I don't think I'll ever try it again. We didn't managed to finish even half the pot. And it's supposed to be ten times worse than tobacco smoking health-wise. It felt pretty cool though, sitting in a dimly lit lounge, which reminded me somewhat of an opium den, watching as the strawberry flavored smoke wafted into nothingness. Well, it was an interesting experience and I do love trying out new things, be they criminally insane or potentially life threatening.

Novices again

Met up with Charmaine and Joanna to watch our J1s fence in Novices Teams. Both Boys and Girls won the gold and the Boy's team bout had an especially nail-biting finish, since they beat Ngee Ann by a single point. It's time for me to get back to fencing too...

As my penpal put it, I am one of the most universally disliked people on Earth. Enter the angsting. The term TGIF takes a whole new level of significance, with strong emotions attached to it, when you start working. Adieu, dear blog. My visits to you will be few and far between as I consign myself to being a workdrone, sombre, stultified and a slave to somnulence.

Work

I never saw myself as one of those on the trains, the pale canvasses of their unsmiling faces etched with their private thoughts and worries as they were distributed to their respective destinations. But I am one of them, now. One of the many gears driving the robust economy of Singapore.. O_o. Alright, I overrate myself. Work leaches energy from the very marrow of my being. But a sale, and in this case two on the first day is oh-so-satisfying, and my moods take a leap to the stars.

2 Bored Girls + A Camera

Since I spent my X'mas at home, I chose to spend the next day with Nava. Went to Daphne's luxurious bungalow for a post-X'mas party. The food was probably catered and her house was adorned with intricate glass trinkets such that it reminded me of a hotel. The ornate glass chandelier dangling in the middle of the spiral staircase was a touch I particularly liked. Soon after, we headed to J8 Delifrance to chill and cam-whore. Too much time + 2 girls + camera = narcissim in its full glory. I guessed we looked nice enough for someone to get the manager's handphone number ;).

Return from Cold-rea!

7 days in Korea have come and gone in a blink of an eye, leaving behind wonderful memories and a craving to be jet-setting again soon. The weather was a pleasant reprieve from the blistering tropical heat of Singaporebut I didn't take to well to the occasional near zero temperatures either. The tour guide was full of wit and knowledge, peppering the tedious bus journeys with his amusing snippets of experiences. Food generally consisted of barbequeued meat or steamboat. Initially I ate a lot, though as the days went on, I found myself getting a little sick of the rich flavors. The mountaneous and seaside scenery were quite breath-taking; then again, if you have lived in the concrete jungle that is S'pore for 18 years of your life, any scenery is stunning. Everland, the large amusement park we were supposed to visit, didn't thrill me as much as it would have if I was younger. Must be the onset of age...lol. Skiing was a blast and I think I fared pretty well for a beginner, considering I didn't fall down once during the multiple descents of the 50m+ slope. Ascending the slope was however, a painstaking process and I was sweating profusely in a few minutes despite the cold. Maybe I'll try snowboarding the next time round. Made several acquaintances and bought loads of delectable snacks and tidbits =P. It was a truly memorable trip and I can't wait for the upcoming trip to _______.

Fate, perhaps

I'm hopelessly naive to think that waiting long enough would bring us together. It's like an experiment, the right person being at the right place at the right time, and I am and had none of these. As you said before, if its meant to be, its meant to be. And it seems, it isn't. Feelings, fickle and fragile, might still linger after everything. In any case, I hope you find happiness with her, because you deserve it, and lay to rest that selfish part of me.

Prom

Would like to give a BIG thank you to Lestari for assisting with my prom makeup and sorry for rushing you needlessly. I think I almost didn't recognise myself with the olive eyeshadow, yellow gown and all=P. Strangely enough, I didn't feel extremely excited about the whole affair in the morning. Cabbed there with Joanna and Charmaine, all of us clad in pretty clothes and baubles, faces caked in make-up. Charmaine looked especially pretty, with the tiara, curls and Goth Lolita dressing. When I arrived there, familiar faces were rendered scarcely recognisable, probably due to the makeup, hairdos and exquisitely beautiful apparel. Think I looked quite nice that night =P. I hardly paid any attention to the programme, partly due to the annoying emcee-ing, and wandered the ball room taking photos. Narcisstic as it may sound, that's what Prom is about. After loads of camwhoring and a little dining in between, the event finally came to a close. For the first time, I went to Chijmes with some of my 3Q buddies and Joanna to chill out, before my dad gave CT, Joanna a lift and sent me home. Some photos are below and the rest are on facebook. Guess I'm still seeing white spots from all the camera flashes =P

Farewells

Held a surprise treat for Weilu because she's going back to China soon after prom. She was really delighted to receive the card and bottle of stars that we made for her XD. I wish her all the best in her endeavours and hopefully she won't forget us.